WHEN we are rich trophy-but-also-legitimately-loving wives, we will have tiaras made just for shits and giggles. I sincerely do not understand why royals do not wear them 24/7, and I do understand it's not chic to flaunt one's wealth or whatever but COME ON. If I were Kate Middleton, I would never take them off. I'd have tiaras for all occasions, it would be EXTREMELY SATISFYING AND FULFILLING.
1. Shopping tiara
2. Driving around the countryside tiara
3. Lunch with the queen tiara
4. Sexy lingerie tiara
5. Walking my children to school tiara
6. Shopping at the grocery store like a regular person tiara
7. Getting my hair did at the salon tiara
8. Church tiara.

A guest is staying over tomorrow and I hope it goes swimmingly the end.

I know you don't support my love for Khloe Kardashian but I LOVE HER because she did everything we want to do CORRECTLY and by age 25. She is my homegirl forever.

ON POINT.
Do not accept any marriage proposals unless they are from a maharajah or the Aga Khan. Lots of Americans have been made into foreign princesses and I believe in you.

I'm an awful blogger THE END.

All I want to do is buy pretty underwear.
If I ever become a rich woman, you can bet the only things I'll spend real money on are
1. underwear
2. spices
3. sneakers (gah), and
4. rings (for fingers and ears)


That's all for now! Feeling depressed, wanting to gun my brains out, and am cleverly (not cleverly) avoiding a Nepali boy who has been proposing marriage to me since the beginning of May. I am only avoiding him so that in my desperate state I don't scream "YES! MAKE ME YOURS BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE WILL KEEP ME!"
I've been proposed to four times by men who were earnest about it. What the hell,
a. why am I still a miserable wretch
b. what were they on to make them think that more than a few months with me would not only be tolerable, but would actually make for a happier existence
c. it's strange that I haven't gotten married yet, then.

I need to buy apples and soymilk, and I am top 40 one of the best cooks in the world (by my own estimations). I made a massive amount of stir-fry type thing yesterday and I've been dreaming about it all day.
VOLATILE! Enjoy my negativity and bipolarity, friends.

Is it strange that it took reading a lot of Harry Potter themed erotica to realize that I have no reason to mourn over the ending of my last relationship?
Grinding against the floor, fantasizing about Sirius and Hermione (I am baring all here), and eating apples with peanut butter (the choice aphrodisiacs of runners and 5-year-olds everywhere) made me just realize "oh shit, you are a prize. Don't cry over someone who didn't treat you like one and who you truthfully were settling for the whole time."
That sounds mean but the entire relationship was just the two of us being so desperate to have some romantic committed relationship that, as long as the other was decently attractive and lived within driving distance, we didn't really care who it was with. I was feeling desperate after losing what I still hope was not the love of my life, and he was feeling desperate because he was getting older and had never had a serious relationship before. I do not think there are two more different people than me and him. Sometimes it was charming, like Oscar and Felix, but most of the time it was just unpleasant.
I won't air my dirty laundry here. I will just say: this breakup has been extremely hard. I feel like there were too many things left unsaid for us to be finally "over", but I know that if I want to make myself truly happy, I cannot keep defaulting to him.



I had my first adult "let's rent a summer cottage on the beach and drink white wine while talking about invasive plants and politics" party weekend in Kaikoura. Despite me still being jet-lagged and me falling asleep as soon as conversations would drift outside of my areas of expertise (e.g. garbanzo beans, uses for baking soda, Nepali jewelry), it was pretty fantastic.

Charlton about falling in love: "While my falling in love with Lydia almost instantly makes complete sense to me, I've never understood what drew her to me. Her generosity of spirit, is my guess, though Lydia has never been very forthcoming on the question. when I pressed her on this subject once, she wmiled and said, 'Words, Charlie ... words. I loved the way you talked about things -- paintings, horses, trees.'"
Source: Charlton Heston, In the Arena: An Autobiography, page 47.

Charlton about Lydia's birthday: "In the spring, we often stood beside a lilac bush near the Speech School embracing for ten minutes at a time. I still send her lilacs on her birthday every year."
Source: Charlton Heston, In the Arena: An Autobiography, page 49.

Strengthen me with raisins, refresh me with apples, for I am faint with love.

-Song of Solomon 2:5