I feel like I should look like Carol Kane. When I imagine myself as that real woman where my personality is reflected in my physical self, it's always some sort of Carol Kane/Stevie Nicks hybrid. Seeing pictures of her makes me happy.


Do you do that, too? Whenever I think of my self--future, present, whatever--it's always as a Carol Kane. She's gardening, she's smoochin' her honey atop Matterhorn, she's reading a book on the porch, she's walking the dog. It's like in dreams where one character is "your mother" even though she looks NOTHING like your actual mother. There's this explicit, clear as day understanding and FEELING in you that she is, though. That's what I'm trying to explain right now.

I don't think she is the number one most beautiful woman, but I do think she is pretty and this connection I feel solely to her outward appearance (not even her voice- it is NOT HER, just her skin and hair and face-bones) is unreal.

-Camille