Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Well it goes without saying that the song you put up was my second choice. I was standing there thinking about my future cooking classes, debating ferociously between the two songs. I ultimately chose the one I did, however, because it hasn't already been associated with cute girls making pancakes.
Second order of business: you as Morimoto = DEAD ON. I can't get over it.

Yesterday I stared at the vegetables outside of the supermarket for a very long time, amazed and a bit scared by how colorful everything was.
Yesterday I met with my thesis adviser after the lecture I have with him. I came to him because I was terrified by the prospect of having to come up with a thesis proposal so soon, but through lots of really kind reassurances, he made me feel completely fine. I wish he were my therapist, or my best-friend. Either will do.
We walked out of the lecture and across campus to the building where his office is located. It's amazing how someone simply telling you that they will help you and support you can change your mood so dramatically. When we parted, we just faced each other and he was kindly smiling and I was ready to just throw my arms around him and sigh, "oh, you wonderful person, you've just lifted such a weight off me!" It felt like the end of a perfect date, where you're curious but excited about what the future for you and this person might hold. I WANT TO GO ON BIKE RIDES AND STARE AT FLOWERS ALL DAY WITH THIS GUY.
Today it is NOT summer.
And this morning I met a man from northern Bavaria and it was creamy dreamy eye-gazingly nice until then he scoffed a little viciously at a romantic-comedy movie poster and I thought, "oh no. Even though I'd rather eat my own vomit than watch that film, at least I'm pretending that I am not so haughty. He will probably be mean. Our relationship will end in hurt, maybe even physical, definitely mental. The end." Suddenly his sneakers were too clean, his smile was no longer a smile but a sneer, and his twinkly eyes were filled with malice- not excitement or joy or exuberance to be alive.
So even though we had the same literary interests, and even though he was kind in our conversation, and even though the attraction was definitely there, I let it drop like a hot potato because I was getting the vibe that he was a secretly condescending, abusive, tyrannical male. But that vibe was only coming from the way he reacted to that movie poster. It didn't come from anything else.
What is your take on this? I don't know if I regret not getting his information.

-Camille

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